Don’t you just love when a song finds you? An ex boyfriend of mine told me that I sounded pretentious when I said this once to him, but I still stand completely by what I said. I prefer to let music find me, rather than go out searching for it. There is nothing better than the feeling of when a lost melody comes to you when you are performing any day to day task. For example, I was walking back late one night from the gym, and on shuffle appeared the song ‘Leave the Club’ by Chris Brown. I know, I know, Chris Brown. But I had heard this song a few months back and really liked it, forgotten about it, and it came back to me when I was tired, cranky and sore from training. It made me feel better, alright!
My point is, that I feel sometimes it is better to be found by things than to aimlessly search for them. I feel I now sound like a stereotypical damsel in distress-like woman, who waits for things to happen to her by taking a passive stance towards life. This is not what I am saying. It is nice to be found/rescued, especially when it concerns the small things in life, and for me, this derived from a song by a convicted woman beater.
Right now, I am sat alone in my house in Liverpool, every day feeling like I have to find something to do to make my days worthwhile. I am not the kind of person who likes doing nothing – even if it’s a walk to the bank, baking a cake or writing this blog, I have to make my days seem important, at least to myself. But, when something comes your way and finds you, there is an overwhelming sense of relief – that even though it wasn’t what you were originally searching for, it feels like it makes up for all of the rejected cover letters and CV’s, the tough days that come by when you just feel, well, lost.
I guess that’s what us students do, isn’t it? Waiting for life to find us. Or waiting for us to find us…