Coyote Ugly

Such a great film. Pretty cool that I managed to get a job working as a coyote in Liverpool’s new Coyote Ugly bar.

I didn’t really know what to expect in the interview – would I have to dance on the bar for them? Would I have to be feisty and cool? Would I have to show how I would manage pervy old men? Because, dear friends, apart from the latter (and the former, but only when I have had at least 7 shots of tequila), I’m not the best person for the job. Plus, the only way I am able to defeat the pervy old men mentioned in reason numero tres is because I have the tendency to smile and laugh a lot when approached by such specimen as these, as I don’t know what else to do. They then go on to say ‘Ooh aren’t you bonny?’ or ‘You look like Kylie!’. I wish I could respond in manners such as ‘No, I’m not ‘bonny’ as I am 20 years old’ and ‘No, I do not look like a 50 year old woman.’

Being referred to as ‘bonny’ is something I have to endure a lot when I work in hospitality, as I am quite small with blonde hair and blue eyes. This causes another common description of myself by others: ‘cute’.

Only my nearest and dearest truly understand how this infuriates me, as even though this word is disguised in its complimentary facade, it is definitely not a compliment. Cute is how you describe a puppy, or a little girl who wears pig tails. Cute should not describe girls who are in their final year of university. How can I be taken seriously at job interviews and life in general if I am constantly described in the same terms you would describe a baby panda or Bambi?

Therefore, I hope that this new job will transform me from cute, into not so cute, as then I guess I will be able to be at work without having to tolerate such back handed compliments.

What’s that? Short man syndrome?


I just typed in ‘cute’ into google images. Here is the first one. Case closed.


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