My trip to the pool in The Pool

Swimming is bloody hard! It’s one of those sports that people say ‘Yeah, swimming is the best exercise for you, it works every muscle in your body’ to which the receiver of this information gives a excited and shocked nod, thinking that swimming is a piece of cake, as in [insert holiday location here] that person was in the pool all the time. What an easy way to quickly get fit and healthy, toned and yummy! Why haven’t I tried this before!

Wrong.

Swimming DOES use up every muscle in your body. This is not an easy feat – think about it – the muscles you use in swimming are muscles which you rarely use, as you have to support yourself and move at the same time, whilst passing through a very thick substance (water. Just thought I’d make that clear). These muscles are like ‘Whoah there, what the hell is going on? I’ve been asleep the past twenty years, what’s new now?’ and you’re like ‘Oh my lord this is so painful, but look at that old woman in front of me gliding with ease, surely as a runner I should be fitter and therefore a better swimmer than the OAP’s that won’t STOP OVER TAKING ME?!’.

As I mentioned earlier, people believe that swimming will be easier as most holiday’s involve a pool. Hence you believe you are already a fabulous swimmer. Wrong again.

These holiday’s involve you sitting in a pool, bobbing up and down, perhaps trying to do a handstand or pretending to be a fish for sale whilst your older sister pulls you around the pool by your foot, acting as the fishmonger in this quite twisted scenario (Majorca, 2000). Can any of us think about a time on holiday when you actually swam non stop for just under an hour? I certainly can’t.

So, to conclude, swimming is hard. My nostrils and mouth act as some kind of water magnet – I don’t think I have large nostrils or anything, but I think I managed to inhale half of the pool. Whilst this was going on in the slow lane, I constantly felt myself swimming away from the creepy old large man who kept his one eye (the other was clouded) upon me as I flapped my way though the water, length by length. I don’t know whether I looked odd as my swimming is not the best, but I got the feeling that he had other things on his mind. Join me now in shuddering.

So, I won’t mention any names (Emily Mills), but I feel like I should sit back in awe of you for a second. This blog is dedicated to those who are regular swimmers, as today I could only manage 50 lengths and I now feel like my insides are about to implode. You are incredible.

P.S. When I refer to ‘most people’ in this blog when I speak generally, I really mean just me. But if you agree or have had any similar experiences, I’m here all week.

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